i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
