It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
