elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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