Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
