So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
