im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
