I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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