i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
