Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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