I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
