Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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