One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
