so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
A+ Viking dick
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
