At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
