for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
