..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
