Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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