you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
