my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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