uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
