Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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