Don't you send me to vm
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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