would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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