Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
