Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
