Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
