Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
