I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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