plz talk dirty to me
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize