cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize