I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
