I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
