Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize