Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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