the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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