kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize