dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
