Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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