a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
