so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
After tacos, we're chasing women.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
