This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize