The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
