Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
