Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
