Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
