there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
