erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She's the barista slut.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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