im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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