its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's never too late to be topless.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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