Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
