there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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