I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
