Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
