Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
