where am i from again
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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