So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
