Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
