the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Randomize
