is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
