Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
