you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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