If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
