I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
