I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
