You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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