I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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